Keep on Keepin' On...

Hello again,

I am doing the very best that I can to stay busy and not dwell on the fact that my due date for student loans is gradually getting closer and that I still have yet to hear back from any of the "real" jobs that I have applied for...I have to admit that it is a genuine struggle to not let the impending date loom over my head like a giant boulder just waiting to mash me into the ground, but I'm doing the best I can by planning fun events with really good friends. I'm looking forward to the prospect of going to GA with a friend to visit some girlfriends that she has down there, it will be the first real road trip I have ever been on without my family..In fact, aside from youth group trips when I was in high school, this will be the first real trip/vacation I have had since I was 6 or 7 years old...I went to Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg, TN when I was 12, but that was with my family for my brothers 16th birthday so I don't really class that as a vacation.


As of now I'm still struggling with the fact that my life is no different now than it was when I was in high school...I am dying to have freedom with my life and the ability to have my own place, but I'm still realizing that I'm not in that place just yet...I mentioned this the other day, but it is still in the back of my mind...I also mentioned the fact that I don't really have time for a guy in my life, but that isn't really the case either...I tell myself that I don't have the time, when in all reality I just don't have anyone interested in me right now..I can't really blame them, I don't really see myself as much of a catch right now..maybe if I wasn't living at home, without a job I would honestly be more of a catch to someone...oh well, I guess I'll just have to wait for that too...

The idea that I have to wait for everything to come to my life really bites...I find myself dreading being in this place...It reminds me of "the waiting place" in Dr. Suess' "Oh, The Places You'll Go!" The "waiting place" always seemed like the worse place to be, but somehow without even wanting or intending to end up there I have managed to be detoured there anyway...Believe me, you do NOT want to end up here in the "waiting place" it isn't fun at all...However, if you do end up here you may want to see if I'm still here, so look me up..lol! No, honestly if you find yourself in the waiting place like I have, take a little time to feel bad about it, because if you don't you'll never figure out how to get yourself out of this place to begin with..Once you've felt genuinely bad about it, you can then pick yourself back up, dust yourself off and figure out what to do to get out of it...I'm still on that journey, I'm blinded searching for a way out, I'm trying to find the place with "boom-bands" playing, but I haven't gotten there yet.. =) I'll let you know if it works out for me or not..

For now, I'm content to keep on keepin on...or as someone else might put it I'm going to keep on truckin until I find where I'm supposed to be...I have to admit this blog helps, it gives me someone to tell this to..most of you don't know who I am and those of you who do know me don't really care to let me rant and rave...Thanks for that...until next time...