Hello Again Cyber world!!
It has been a long time since I last posted and my life has once again changed drastically..thankfully it has all been good changes, ones that have started me on the true path of adulthood..lol! ;-)
Not long after my last post about giving up a 40 hour a week job..I was given the opportunity to interview for a position in my hometown..It was also a full-time position, but since it was a 2nd shift job it gave me a 15 cent raise over the job I turned down..I applied, interviewed & was offered the job which I happily accepted..
So my dark days turned light again and I discovered that following my heart and never straying from what I know and believe will always win out over the pressures to do what is expected of me..I have also started paying my student loan bills..I'm not paying them off quickly, but I am paying them on time which is a triumph to me..I hope to be able to pay them off sooner than expected, but I know it won't happen right away, so I just keep going a little at a time..
So far so good..my life hasn't turned out exactly as I had planned, but when does it ever?? If everything in life happened the way we wanted then it would be very very boring..I am slowly learning to enjoy not just the little things, but everything..because no matter what they are, the good things or the bad things, they each play a crucial role in making us who we are as individuals! Without one or the other we wouldn't become fully rounded individuals we would just be robots or worse, zombies! ;-) lol!
Long rant short, I am happy & ready to take on this newest phase in my life..looking back on the choices I made I couldn't be happier because without them I wouldn't have ended up where I am today..all in all, life is good.. =D
Until next time,
XOXO,
Julia
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Making Mistakes
I'm back great cyber world! =)
My life troubles haven't changed that much since I last blogged in December. The biggest difference is that I quit my part time job and managed to get an interview for my first "big girl" job...Long story short, I got the job and then the morning of my first day I got such a gut-wrenching bad feeling that I started and literally couldn't stop crying all day long.
I have never felt such a powerful feeling like that...Sure, I've had that warning before, it's that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you're doing something wrong or something you know you really shouldn't do but you do it anyway and then of course you regret it...but this feeling was 1 million times stronger than that...It was so powerful I was literally terrified of something completely unknown and unseen...Even after I called and told my newest boss that I wouldn't be coming in and that I had just "changed my mind" I still felt that feeling..
I think it took my body awhile to realize that I had listened to the warning it had been giving, because once I made the call I was able to calm down some, but then I had to deal with the emotions of making the choice I had. I knew no one would understand why I did what I did, but isn't that the way life goes? You make a decision that best suits your life and then the majority of your friends and family stand there shaking their heads at you wondering why the hell you made that choice? My family and friends are convinced that I made a mistake and that I will ultimately come to regret my decision, but I honestly disagree. If this was something so right for me, then why was every single fiber of my being telling me that it was wrong? No, it was MORE than wrong...
I will be the first one to admit that this was a golden opportunity. It was the first 40+ hours a week job I had been offered, and it would have been an amazing chance to gain some real world experience. But no matter how fantastic the opportunity or how great the prize was I simply couldn't ignore that gut feeling, I couldn't ignore what my instincts were telling me. So now, like I said, I am dealing with the repercussions of my choices...My family doesn't understand and I am so sick of having to explain myself that I just want to hide in a closet.. =) (within reason of course! lol!)
So I've come to the new thought that our instincts/gut feelings that we each and all get at different points has a language that only we as individuals can understand. It is something that no matter how we try to explain it to others, the explanation simply gets lost in translation. It is an issue that can easily develop into a problem for some of our relationships and friendships, but just like when we struggle to understand someone visiting from another country, a little compassion, empathy and patience can help to bridge the gap, even if we don't always fully grasp the meaning...
Until Next Time.
XOXO,
Julia
My life troubles haven't changed that much since I last blogged in December. The biggest difference is that I quit my part time job and managed to get an interview for my first "big girl" job...Long story short, I got the job and then the morning of my first day I got such a gut-wrenching bad feeling that I started and literally couldn't stop crying all day long.
I have never felt such a powerful feeling like that...Sure, I've had that warning before, it's that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you're doing something wrong or something you know you really shouldn't do but you do it anyway and then of course you regret it...but this feeling was 1 million times stronger than that...It was so powerful I was literally terrified of something completely unknown and unseen...Even after I called and told my newest boss that I wouldn't be coming in and that I had just "changed my mind" I still felt that feeling..
I think it took my body awhile to realize that I had listened to the warning it had been giving, because once I made the call I was able to calm down some, but then I had to deal with the emotions of making the choice I had. I knew no one would understand why I did what I did, but isn't that the way life goes? You make a decision that best suits your life and then the majority of your friends and family stand there shaking their heads at you wondering why the hell you made that choice? My family and friends are convinced that I made a mistake and that I will ultimately come to regret my decision, but I honestly disagree. If this was something so right for me, then why was every single fiber of my being telling me that it was wrong? No, it was MORE than wrong...
I will be the first one to admit that this was a golden opportunity. It was the first 40+ hours a week job I had been offered, and it would have been an amazing chance to gain some real world experience. But no matter how fantastic the opportunity or how great the prize was I simply couldn't ignore that gut feeling, I couldn't ignore what my instincts were telling me. So now, like I said, I am dealing with the repercussions of my choices...My family doesn't understand and I am so sick of having to explain myself that I just want to hide in a closet.. =) (within reason of course! lol!)
So I've come to the new thought that our instincts/gut feelings that we each and all get at different points has a language that only we as individuals can understand. It is something that no matter how we try to explain it to others, the explanation simply gets lost in translation. It is an issue that can easily develop into a problem for some of our relationships and friendships, but just like when we struggle to understand someone visiting from another country, a little compassion, empathy and patience can help to bridge the gap, even if we don't always fully grasp the meaning...
Until Next Time.
XOXO,
Julia
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