Inner Turmoil

It's me again...I'm back to riddle the cyber world with more of my ranting.. =) (you know you've missed me!) ;-)

Anyway, as I lie in on one of my closest friends couches unable to sleep, I find myself thinking about my life. I am currently working at a part-time job that I hate more than anything and yet I am unable to quit because I know my family would blame me for doing so.

I feel uncertain about everything I do except for my family and friends. They are the only thing that makes sense in my life and yet they are the ones I feel like I can't talk to at all! I hate all of these strange paradoxes that keep me up at night. (they give me headaches too) I can't help but wonder where I'll be in a few short months with my life and where I will end up by this time next year. I must confess that my original plan of living my life uncertain of where things will end up is actually starting to scare me for the first time ever. I feel like I am just stuck, dangling in mid-air, going absolutely no where.

While I am afraid I know this is the only way to do things and that trying to control my life will only cause me more heartache in the end. I just wish I could let it go instead of stewing over things. But that is unfortunately who I am, I am a worrier and I can't stop that for whatever reason.

I am now going to stop my foolish ranting and attempt to get some sleep...(I doubt I will get much, but it is worth a try!) As for the rest of it...Wish me luck! I'm going to need it!

Until Next Time.

XOXO,
Julia