One of My Favorites

I am in a very weird mood today...maybe it's from all the stupidity that is surrounding me right now...I don't know...I thought the uncertainity of the world would do me some good, that it would somehow make me stronger and more understanding of things than I used to be when I was a control freak that had to have everything figured out...I was wrong...I just makes me feel like the world is slipping out from under my feet, like I am a puppet on strings just dangling in mid-air with no place to go. I desperately want someone to cut my strings, but I know if and when that happens, I will fall and then who will be there to catch me? Through all of this inner turmoil I find solace in my one true passion, literature...One of my favorite poems and my hope for a better tomorrow is Frank O'Hara's "Having a Coke with You." For those of you who are movie buffs, you may have run across this incredible poem in the brand new film "Beastly." Either way, you should really add it to your life, because it does the soul a lot of good...So, here it is... I hope you like it as much as I do. =)

HAVING A COKE WITH YOU

is even more fun than going to San Sebastian, Irún, Hendaye, Biarritz, Bayonne
or being sick to my stomach on the Travesera de Gracia in Barcelona
partly because in your orange shirt you look like a better happier St. Sebastian
partly because of my love for you, partly because of your love for yoghurt
partly because of the fluorescent orange tulips around the birches
partly because of the secrecy our smiles take on before people and statuary
it is hard to believe when I'm with you that there can be anything as still
as solemn as unpleasantly definitive as statuary when right in front of it
in the warm New York 4 o'clock light we are drifting back and forth
between each other like a tree breathing through its spectacles

and the portrait show seems to have no faces in it at all, just paint
you suddenly wonder why in the world anyone ever did them

I look
at you and I would rather look at you than all the portraits in the world
except possibly for the Polish Rider occasionally and anyway it's in the Frick
which thank heavens you haven't gone to yet so we can go together the first time
and the fact that you move so beautifully more or less takes care of Futurism
just as at home I never think of the Nude Descending a Staircase or
at a rehearsal a single drawing of Leonardo or Michelangelo that used to wow me
and what good does all the research of the Impressionists do them
when they never got the right person to stand near the tree when the sun sank
or for that matter Marino Marini when he didn't pick the rider as carefully
as the horse

it seems they were all cheated of some marvelous experience
which is not going to go wasted on me which is why I am telling you about it

—Frank O'Hara

That is such a beautiful poem and right now I am trying my best to remember that my life doesn't end or begin at 24..I choose when I want to truly start living; my body can be alive and functioning without there truly being an ounce of life inside, just like someone who feels close to physical death can truly feel the most alive only then...I don't want to waste my time dwelling on all the wrong things, but I must confess it is difficult not to...Until I can figure out what I am doing I guess I'm stuck with taking things one step at a time...What more could I do??

Until Next Time..
XOXO,
Julia